#RoadTo27 Day 3 – Be You.

I guess this is kinda turning into a “things I’ve learned” series…Lord knows I’ve sure as hell learned a LOT over the last year.

This morning I woke up reluctantly after a rough nights sleep knowing I had to get ready to go to a second interview. You could say I was less than excited. Not because I don’t want the job, I actually really love the company and hope I land it, but because I wasn’t in the mood to get “girled up” and impress anyone today.

Then it hit me…I don’t have to.

I took the time for my first interview to make sure my hair was perfect, my makeup was flawless, my jeans were starched and pressed and my shirt was really nice. I mean, it’s important to present yourself well, right?

Today, however, I took a different approach. Knowing the available position had been narrowed down to myself and one other lady, I had an “all or nothing” attitude. If they don’t like me for plain ole me, they don’t want to hire me…because I’m not that starched jeans and red lip girl all the time. If my personality, attributes and experience don’t get me the job, but red lips will, well…I don’t want it anyway.

I took about 15 minutes to enjoy getting ready the way I would for any normal date night or something to that effect. Fixed my hair so it didn’t look so much like a disheveled hay bale, brightened my eyes a bit and made my eyelashes visible…nothing spectacular. I threw on the only pair of “non-work” jeans I had, a tank..and a neon pink and black button up shirt.

I laughed to myself when I looked in the mirror; I felt just exactly like me. That’s a good feeling. With my confidence high I strolled to the interview.

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I was early, as usual. This gave me a few minutes to visit with one of the fellas before the other showed up. It was in this small talk that I learned something about myself…

It wasn’t the pressed jeans and put together look that got me that second interview..it was my handshake.

When he said to me “So, you used to work on a ranch? That tells me a lot about your work ethic.” …it made me smile. I take a lot of pride in those years of loping ponies and long hours with the greatest West Texas cowboy I know, and I learned a lot.

“Yes sir.” I said..and I noticed an ornery looking grin about him.

Then he said, “You know what really impressed me about you?” …puzzled, I shook my head, and that’s when he said “Your handshake.”

Now I was the one with the ornery grin! When someone compliments something that is relevant to my character, I can’t usually contain myself. Of course I gave him a thank you, but he went on to say “It’s not often you get a handshake like that, it’s respectable.”

I was seriously speechless.

The second fella showed up and we proceeded to visit about what they’d require, my ability to do those things not originally discussed, etc….near the end of our chat a man walked into the office. He seemed important, sure enough …it was their CPA. I stood and shook his hand when they introduced us. Mr.CPA looked down at the fellas doing my interview like “Whoa, really?” …I just smiled as I sat back down.

Driving home I reflected on this. I had never thought about those little things. Those little signs of respect and sincerity that set me apart…the confidence I exude when introducing myself that makes me memorable. I know that I’m silly and quirky and funny and a bit odd, but I now know that those aren’t the qualities that stand out.

It’s my genuine being…it’s ME, as an individual. It’s my manners, it’s the way I was raised…it’s the fact that I’m different. It’s the fact that I respect people as individuals.

I’m pretty proud of that.

So, even if I don’t land this job…I know that in the last year of soul searching I’ve done something right. I’ve stayed true to my most genuine self. The woman who has never met a stranger, who respects everyone and who would do just about anything to put a smile on a face.

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Seriously, anything.

Stay true to who you are. Be YOU.

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

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#RoadTo27 Day 2 – Change

Yesterday was day one of the newest DragonFit bootcamp round. I decided I was gong to fully commit this round, no half assing. I posted in our sisterhood group that I was going to do the “Mile For Time” challenge mentioned in our emails, and that I was going to crush my fastest mile. When I woke up this morning I had one thing on my mind – beating that time. I went to sleep thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it…I was going to do it.

I stretched and reached for my phone to check the time and the first thing I saw was a text from a girlfriend that said;

“Why am I afraid of change?!?!”

I sat there, phone in hand, trying to think of just what to tell her…

Because it’s scary! That’s why!!

What if you fail? What if you can’t do it? What if you lose friends? What if people mock you? What if…

…what if you succeed?

Over the last year I’ve made more changes than I can actually really wrap my head around. Small things like shaving off half my hair…and huge things like leaving my toxic marriage.

They were all scary, and they all caused exponential self growth. I’ve grown accustom to change, and I really like it – but it’s still very scary. I like it because I always grow and learn about myself, even if the change wasn’t necessarily “good”.

So, here’s my advice on change.

  • Embrace it, embrace the HELL out of it. It’s gonna be scary, but it’s going to be worth it.
  • Figure out what part of it is actually scaring you – for me, it’s often the fear of success.
  • Understand that every time you walk through a new door you’re going to lose people. Also understand that is perfectly okay. Most people we meet are just for certain phases of our lives, the ones who are meant to follow through each door will remain.
  • If there is someone who doesn’t support your change, they are NOT your tribe and you do not need them.
  • Seek positive energy and surround yourself with people who have similar goals and ambitions. It wasn’t until I did this that I really started to succeed.
  • Don’t worry about the thoughts of others. This is particularly true for lifestyle changes. When I started lifting like crazy and packing on muscle, I lost a lot of “friends” …that was my choice. No one get’s to decide what my body should look like but me!
  • LAUGH. When you hit a speed bump or completely screw up, laugh about it. Realize you’re human, find the light and just move forward.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.Ever.
  • Find some consistency. Even if it doesn’t seem consistent, as long as you’re pushing towards your goals…you’re going to make the change permanent.
  • Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is just in your head, there really are no failures…only lessons. Find the lesson and push forward. Readjust if you must, but keep moving towards the goal.
  • Get out of your own head. Don’t overthink it, just do it.

I think my last bit of advice on making change is this…

ALWAYS believe in yourself…and when you don’t, do it anyway.

I didn’t believe in myself when I stepped foot out to go on that run this morning. I knew there was NO way I was going to beat that time of 13:31…but I went out, and tried my damndest anyway.

I crushed it, by the way…by over 2 minutes.

You don’t always have to believe in yourself to create change, you just have to fight through the fear.

After all, on the other side of fear lies freedom.

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xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Own Your Story.

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For so long I’ve hidden the bad things that have happened to me. I’ve tried so hard to keep my feelings from showing, thinking it’s a sign of weakness.

What a stupid thought.

Who cares that I’ve been through something that left me broken or scarred? Why should I hide the very things that have molded me into the person I am today?

I think we should wear our experiences like tattoos and let them tell the stories of how they tried to bring us down…but couldn’t.

I think everyone should be proud of what they’ve been through.

Be proud of your story.

Shout it from the rooftops.

Scream your experiences into the face of society; even if they aren’t pretty.

Society is creating this fucked up version of “perfection” that everyone is trying to follow. One where everything is sparkly and nothing bad ever happens; that’s so damn far from reality.

Own your experiences.

Deliver them to the world bravely!

Do big things, even if your past haunts you.

Be courageous, create a life you are proud up, display your scars, be a billboard of experiences and adventures.

Life is short and fleeting, don’t let it pass you by.

xoxo

OkieGirl

The Only Limitations In Life Are The Ones You Create! {A Wandering Gypsy Post}

So there I was last night, sitting on my couch scrolling through Instagram. I was looking at all my favorite fitness & inspirational pages. The very first thought that entered my mind was “man I hate how unhealthy & out of shape I am.” Then not long after there came my second, “I wish I could look that good.” And my last negative thought that came to me was “I just can’t ever find the time to work out like they do.”

At this point it clicked and I just started laughing! (at myself, like seriously)
Why am I justifying my laziness?
“Life has no limitations, except the ones you create”
I am creating my own limitations. It can be a truly powerful thing once this clicks in your mind. Seriously, I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. Nothing can stop me except for my own thoughts. And that’s exactly what was stopping me…before this moment. NOT ANYMORE!
I WILL get healthier!
I WILL get into the best shape possible!
I WILL get stronger!
I WILL continue to grow everyday, to be the best me possible!
And I will enjoy every second of this journey. We just have to realize that we are capable, worthy & we deserve it! No go do whatever the fuck you want!! -there are no limits!
xoxo
-Wandering Gypsy

Completely Or Not At All. { A Wandering Gypsy Post}

Try harder or walk away-that’s it, those are the choices. As I sit here & read this quote over & over in my head I start to feel as if I’m suffocating.

I haven’t been making these decisions in my life in quite some time, I’ve just been sitting here-existing. This goes for just about anything in our lives…..loving ourselves, loving a spouse, a family member, pursuing your dream or passion.

Have y’all heard the saying “there’s only one way to do everything, completely or not at all”? There is so much truth to that, when did we start thinking it was okay to half-ass something? What if a doctor half-assed a surgery he had to do?

What if a pilot half-assed flying the plane? Whatever we do, we should give it our all. We can choose to continue to give our all in our marriage, friendship, job, whatever it may be. Guys, WE CHOOSE! We choose to wake up & love ourselves, to not suffer.

Why is it that we make more stress & struggle for ourselves? Why is it that we run from making a simple decision that could change our whole live for the better? Why?

It’s simple, but it’s not easy. We all have the power within us to nurture ourselves, heal & become stronger & healthier than we once were. AGAIN, it’s not easy but it’s simple & it’s WORTH IT. At this point in my life I am struggling with multiple things.

I’m struggling to find myself, who I truly am inside. I’m not even sure when I lost myself, when my happiness disappeared into the darkness, when my self-confidence demolished, when I stopped doing the things I love….. It’s a heartbreaking thing to feel empty, alone, confused, lost into the unknown.

I’m struggling with thinking I need validation from anyone else to feel good about myself. I’m struggling with opinions of others, not as much as I used to though. Struggling with feeling guilty for the emotions I have. I believe the choice to stay or leave, ultimately determines whether we free ourselves or we suffer… I don’t know about y’all but I’m always worried about making the “right” decision.

I’m a big “what if” thinker…what if I realize I made the wrong choice & can’t fix it, what if it effects my kids in a negative way, what if everything falls apart? I’m so quick to ask the negative what ifs because of fear… But what if it changes your whole life in a positive way, what if it helps you find who you really are inside, what if your purpose is uncovered? We just need to slow down, be still & listen to what our soul is trying to tell us.

If we pay close enough attention I believe it’ll guide us in the right direction. It probably won’t be easy & it might even be a little painful, but wouldn’t you rather grow into a much better person & truly find happiness?

We need to fight through fear.

Forget about the fear we have inside & make a choice. Forget about the fear of what others might think about our choice….try harder or walk away. And get used to having that choice to make cause it will continue to pop up throughout your life. You have to figure out what’s worth it to you, who are you & what do YOU want-not anyone else. A good place to start is by loving yourself….

XoXo

WanderingGypsy

You ARE Enough.

I’m too fat.

I’m too thin.

My arms are flabby.

My thighs are too big.

I am built like a man.

I’m built like a stick.

I’m too heavy.

My butt is too big.

My butt is too small.

My boobs are uneven.

I’m not tan enough.

My hair isn’t long enough.

I’m not pretty enough.

I’m not enough.

Aren’t you heartbroken for the girls saying these things about themselves?

Don’t you say something like, “No you’re not, you’re beautiful and perfect and uniquely you!”

BUT aren’t you also guilty of saying these things to yourself? Maybe not out loud and maybe you don’t even realize you do it. When you are scrolling through your social media feed and you see a girl with a body you desire, what kind of thoughts run through your head?

Do you put yourself down because you don’t look like her? Do you say to yourself “I wish my butt looked that good” or “I wish my tummy was that thin” do you fill your head full of negative thoughts about how you will “never look that good”?? I know I was once guilty of this…and I know SO many of us are.

It’s hard not to desire what we see as a perfect body, or goal body, ESPECIALLY when we are working on ours. BUT it’s so, SO , sooo important to stay positive about your body image.

You have to love your body, it’s the only one you have! Instead of being envious of the girls you see – take pride in your OWN body and how it will look when you reach your goals. No one is perfect. Even the most fit girls have demons and body issues. I know the more weight I lose, the more critical I get of my body! It’s a vicious cycle and I have to stop and say, “NO! look how far you’ve come”.

It’s all a mind game…a mind game with yourself. You have to wake up each morning and think positive. You have to look in the mirror and refuse to pick yourself apart. You have to remember that your body is unique to only you. You need to focus on creating the best version of yourself – mentally and physically, not another version of someone else.

It’s hard to find yourself…but it’s even harder if you are constantly trying to be someone else.  Just do what makes you happy, try everything, go on adventures and LOVE yourself unconditionally.

You are beautiful.

You are important.

You matter.

You’re a freaking rockstar!!

xoxo

OkieGirl

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He Does.

For women like me, who were raised to be tough willed and bull headed…sometimes it’s really hard to let yourself be vulnerable, to let yourself feel.

For YEARS I have hid my feelings deep inside, dealing with my demons on my own….unwilling to let anyone see me as anything but tough and happy.

I’m over that shit.

It took quite a while for my wonderful husband to break down my walls and show me that being a “girl” in front of him was okay. I still try not to cry in front of him, but if I do…he knows just what to do to comfort me. I still try and hide being upset, but he sees right through it, and usually does something weird to make me laugh.

There aren’t a lot of people in this world that can comfort you by simply being by your side…but he does.

There aren’t a lot of people who try and understand your pain instead of just putting it off…but he does.

There certainly aren’t a lot of men who listen to their wives ramble about their girly drama…but he does.

There aren’t a lot of men who step back and take the time to teach their wives whatever it is they want to learn…but he does.

He never mocks all my questions and is always teaching me new things and building me up.

He has never once told me I couldn’t do something, and always encourages me to try.

He believes in me when I don’t.

He is my best friend and my partner for life.

You really are my other half, babe…and I’d be so lost in this world without you.

Love never fails.

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xoxo

OkieGirl