#RoadTo27 Day 3 – Be You.

I guess this is kinda turning into a “things I’ve learned” series…Lord knows I’ve sure as hell learned a LOT over the last year.

This morning I woke up reluctantly after a rough nights sleep knowing I had to get ready to go to a second interview. You could say I was less than excited. Not because I don’t want the job, I actually really love the company and hope I land it, but because I wasn’t in the mood to get “girled up” and impress anyone today.

Then it hit me…I don’t have to.

I took the time for my first interview to make sure my hair was perfect, my makeup was flawless, my jeans were starched and pressed and my shirt was really nice. I mean, it’s important to present yourself well, right?

Today, however, I took a different approach. Knowing the available position had been narrowed down to myself and one other lady, I had an “all or nothing” attitude. If they don’t like me for plain ole me, they don’t want to hire me…because I’m not that starched jeans and red lip girl all the time. If my personality, attributes and experience don’t get me the job, but red lips will, well…I don’t want it anyway.

I took about 15 minutes to enjoy getting ready the way I would for any normal date night or something to that effect. Fixed my hair so it didn’t look so much like a disheveled hay bale, brightened my eyes a bit and made my eyelashes visible…nothing spectacular. I threw on the only pair of “non-work” jeans I had, a tank..and a neon pink and black button up shirt.

I laughed to myself when I looked in the mirror; I felt just exactly like me. That’s a good feeling. With my confidence high I strolled to the interview.

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I was early, as usual. This gave me a few minutes to visit with one of the fellas before the other showed up. It was in this small talk that I learned something about myself…

It wasn’t the pressed jeans and put together look that got me that second interview..it was my handshake.

When he said to me “So, you used to work on a ranch? That tells me a lot about your work ethic.” …it made me smile. I take a lot of pride in those years of loping ponies and long hours with the greatest West Texas cowboy I know, and I learned a lot.

“Yes sir.” I said..and I noticed an ornery looking grin about him.

Then he said, “You know what really impressed me about you?” …puzzled, I shook my head, and that’s when he said “Your handshake.”

Now I was the one with the ornery grin! When someone compliments something that is relevant to my character, I can’t usually contain myself. Of course I gave him a thank you, but he went on to say “It’s not often you get a handshake like that, it’s respectable.”

I was seriously speechless.

The second fella showed up and we proceeded to visit about what they’d require, my ability to do those things not originally discussed, etc….near the end of our chat a man walked into the office. He seemed important, sure enough …it was their CPA. I stood and shook his hand when they introduced us. Mr.CPA looked down at the fellas doing my interview like “Whoa, really?” …I just smiled as I sat back down.

Driving home I reflected on this. I had never thought about those little things. Those little signs of respect and sincerity that set me apart…the confidence I exude when introducing myself that makes me memorable. I know that I’m silly and quirky and funny and a bit odd, but I now know that those aren’t the qualities that stand out.

It’s my genuine being…it’s ME, as an individual. It’s my manners, it’s the way I was raised…it’s the fact that I’m different. It’s the fact that I respect people as individuals.

I’m pretty proud of that.

So, even if I don’t land this job…I know that in the last year of soul searching I’ve done something right. I’ve stayed true to my most genuine self. The woman who has never met a stranger, who respects everyone and who would do just about anything to put a smile on a face.

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Seriously, anything.

Stay true to who you are. Be YOU.

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

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#RoadTo27 Day 2 – Change

Yesterday was day one of the newest DragonFit bootcamp round. I decided I was gong to fully commit this round, no half assing. I posted in our sisterhood group that I was going to do the “Mile For Time” challenge mentioned in our emails, and that I was going to crush my fastest mile. When I woke up this morning I had one thing on my mind – beating that time. I went to sleep thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it…I was going to do it.

I stretched and reached for my phone to check the time and the first thing I saw was a text from a girlfriend that said;

“Why am I afraid of change?!?!”

I sat there, phone in hand, trying to think of just what to tell her…

Because it’s scary! That’s why!!

What if you fail? What if you can’t do it? What if you lose friends? What if people mock you? What if…

…what if you succeed?

Over the last year I’ve made more changes than I can actually really wrap my head around. Small things like shaving off half my hair…and huge things like leaving my toxic marriage.

They were all scary, and they all caused exponential self growth. I’ve grown accustom to change, and I really like it – but it’s still very scary. I like it because I always grow and learn about myself, even if the change wasn’t necessarily “good”.

So, here’s my advice on change.

  • Embrace it, embrace the HELL out of it. It’s gonna be scary, but it’s going to be worth it.
  • Figure out what part of it is actually scaring you – for me, it’s often the fear of success.
  • Understand that every time you walk through a new door you’re going to lose people. Also understand that is perfectly okay. Most people we meet are just for certain phases of our lives, the ones who are meant to follow through each door will remain.
  • If there is someone who doesn’t support your change, they are NOT your tribe and you do not need them.
  • Seek positive energy and surround yourself with people who have similar goals and ambitions. It wasn’t until I did this that I really started to succeed.
  • Don’t worry about the thoughts of others. This is particularly true for lifestyle changes. When I started lifting like crazy and packing on muscle, I lost a lot of “friends” …that was my choice. No one get’s to decide what my body should look like but me!
  • LAUGH. When you hit a speed bump or completely screw up, laugh about it. Realize you’re human, find the light and just move forward.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.Ever.
  • Find some consistency. Even if it doesn’t seem consistent, as long as you’re pushing towards your goals…you’re going to make the change permanent.
  • Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is just in your head, there really are no failures…only lessons. Find the lesson and push forward. Readjust if you must, but keep moving towards the goal.
  • Get out of your own head. Don’t overthink it, just do it.

I think my last bit of advice on making change is this…

ALWAYS believe in yourself…and when you don’t, do it anyway.

I didn’t believe in myself when I stepped foot out to go on that run this morning. I knew there was NO way I was going to beat that time of 13:31…but I went out, and tried my damndest anyway.

I crushed it, by the way…by over 2 minutes.

You don’t always have to believe in yourself to create change, you just have to fight through the fear.

After all, on the other side of fear lies freedom.

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xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who I Want To Be.

Sometimes I write and save things in a folder on my computer titled “My Mess” …it’s kinda my journal. I go back through it from time to time when I need inspiration or something…today, I came across this post and Lord knows I needed it. It’s funny how much sense we make if we just listen to our own advice.

 

Who I want to be:

I want to be a fit, strong, sexy and confident woman. I want to inspire people to be better and help others find fitness. I want to matter to someone. I want to FEEL love the same way I give it. I want to know someone who I can be so brutally honest with that it almost hurts, but just almost.

I never want to have to hide who I want to be. I never want to feel like I’m walled off from who I can be.

I want to run, be free, just be…in nature, in the world.

I want to see things – beautiful things, things that haven’t been made but have been created.

I want to see sunsets in every state and run miles down a beach until I collapse in laughter and just breathe in the salty air.

I want someone to share in my passions, whatever they may be. I want someone to believe in me to the point it almost seems toxic, but just almost.

I never want to be afraid.

Not of anything.

Especially not of becoming exactly who I am.

xoxo

OkieGirl

Own Your Story.

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For so long I’ve hidden the bad things that have happened to me. I’ve tried so hard to keep my feelings from showing, thinking it’s a sign of weakness.

What a stupid thought.

Who cares that I’ve been through something that left me broken or scarred? Why should I hide the very things that have molded me into the person I am today?

I think we should wear our experiences like tattoos and let them tell the stories of how they tried to bring us down…but couldn’t.

I think everyone should be proud of what they’ve been through.

Be proud of your story.

Shout it from the rooftops.

Scream your experiences into the face of society; even if they aren’t pretty.

Society is creating this fucked up version of “perfection” that everyone is trying to follow. One where everything is sparkly and nothing bad ever happens; that’s so damn far from reality.

Own your experiences.

Deliver them to the world bravely!

Do big things, even if your past haunts you.

Be courageous, create a life you are proud up, display your scars, be a billboard of experiences and adventures.

Life is short and fleeting, don’t let it pass you by.

xoxo

OkieGirl

It’s Not You, It’s Me.

An open letter to all the “best friends” I’ve had that disappeared without warning.

I’ve come to the conclusion today that it’s not you, it’s me.

I’m too much.

Too confident, too loud, to funny, too honest…

I’m too aggressive with the things I want…

I like to make people laugh too much, and I really like to make sure others understand their worth.

I like to make people feel loved, wanted and appreciated…

I really like to spoil.

I like to dig down deep and get to know people, especially those I see incredible potential in.

I’m a huge fan of expressing myself in weird ways, like dancing, singing, doing push ups…anything that will make an awkward situation even more awkward.

I don’t like awkward situations, so I am pretty good at acting like a fool to make others feel better.

So sorry about that….

Yeah, no I’m not….because that would mean I’m apologizing for being me; because you couldn’t handle ME.

I’m not sorry for being exactly who I am to you, showing you my soul and letting you run away with the parts I invested in you. You obviously needed them more than me, and that’s okay.

I’m not sorry at all for all the times I showed up to cry with you, or the weird things we did together…or the late night conversations to solve the world’s problems, nope. Not one bit. I’m not sorry for loving you completely and spoiling you…because I think that’s what best friends do. I’m not sorry at all for showing you my true colors…I’m just sorry you couldn’t see that I was being genuine.

I’m sorry that you felt the need to pull away from me and I’m sorry that I didn’t get to roll over into the next chapter with you, but I’m very grateful for all the times we had! Thank you for being part of my life, even if it was only temporary….and thanks for showing me that even if it’s for a short while, you should love those best friends with all your being.

You should also know…if the day comes and you need to knock on my door, it will always be open to you….because that’s just who I am.

Maybe it’s not me after all….

Xoxo

OkieGirl

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Grin & Barrett.

It’s not every day you meet someone who shares a story so similar to yours, especially when it comes to a life changing dog. When I met Alexis and heard her story about Barrett, I knew we had a connection that would be unexplainable to most everyone else. We shared a bond with our K9 counter parts that most people only dream of. We were saved by them, changed by them, molded into who we are today because of them.

We are who we are because of Karma & Barrett, and we are now amazing friends 500 miles apart because of them too.

Life is so strange, don’t let it pass you by.

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When it comes to unhealthy relationships, I have been dealt every kind that exists. There was the everyday liar and cheater, and then the physically and mentally abusive. The first was the worst though, and he was the one who didn’t hear my voice or think I had a choice. At fifteen years old, I turned into a total strange.. unrecognizable by family, friends, even myself. It was toxic to my life and everyone in it. It affected every relationship I had and would  continue to strain those in my future. Depression, suicide attempts, anxiety attacks, and addictions are what my new life would be made of until a year ago. 9 years of complete hell, and life changed for me again. I brought home a dog.

The demons I had spent my life hiding from would be brought to light, faced and dealt with. My joy and love for life restored! He brightened the darkness that had taken my soul, and sewed patches on my battered heart.

I was hurt so deeply by so many people that there was a broken piece of my a human would never come close to healing. But, a dog did! Barrett did! 💙 -Alexis

I know she misses you every day, Barrett! You will always be more than just a dog. Keep an eye on Karma, up there in heaven…we’ll see you some day. And remember to always…Grin & Barrett.

xoxo

Okie Girl & Alexis

Measured In Character. 

You know what? At the end of the day we are all just people…just human beings, nothing more. 

We all have feelings, desires, hopes, dreams and struggles!

Certainly there are people that are deemed more successful than others – but how is that measured? Money? Things? …it should be measured in character. 

The most successful and beautiful people to me are those who are humble, kind and real. Those who can be true to themselves even in the limelight. 

I want to know people who have walked through hell, and came out the other side with knew knowledge and hope…not people who rode coat tails to the top.

I want to be someone who can help push someone through that walk. I think it’s so important to be kind and supportive to those you admire, and even those you don’t. You don’t know what someone is going through – no matter who they are; 

WE. ALL. STRUGGLE! 

Surround yourself with positive and uplifting likeminded people and you will be successful. 

Dream big, work hard, don’t make excuses and never look back! 

XoXo

OkieGirl