#RoadTo27 Day 3 – Be You.

I guess this is kinda turning into a “things I’ve learned” series…Lord knows I’ve sure as hell learned a LOT over the last year.

This morning I woke up reluctantly after a rough nights sleep knowing I had to get ready to go to a second interview. You could say I was less than excited. Not because I don’t want the job, I actually really love the company and hope I land it, but because I wasn’t in the mood to get “girled up” and impress anyone today.

Then it hit me…I don’t have to.

I took the time for my first interview to make sure my hair was perfect, my makeup was flawless, my jeans were starched and pressed and my shirt was really nice. I mean, it’s important to present yourself well, right?

Today, however, I took a different approach. Knowing the available position had been narrowed down to myself and one other lady, I had an “all or nothing” attitude. If they don’t like me for plain ole me, they don’t want to hire me…because I’m not that starched jeans and red lip girl all the time. If my personality, attributes and experience don’t get me the job, but red lips will, well…I don’t want it anyway.

I took about 15 minutes to enjoy getting ready the way I would for any normal date night or something to that effect. Fixed my hair so it didn’t look so much like a disheveled hay bale, brightened my eyes a bit and made my eyelashes visible…nothing spectacular. I threw on the only pair of “non-work” jeans I had, a tank..and a neon pink and black button up shirt.

I laughed to myself when I looked in the mirror; I felt just exactly like me. That’s a good feeling. With my confidence high I strolled to the interview.

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I was early, as usual. This gave me a few minutes to visit with one of the fellas before the other showed up. It was in this small talk that I learned something about myself…

It wasn’t the pressed jeans and put together look that got me that second interview..it was my handshake.

When he said to me “So, you used to work on a ranch? That tells me a lot about your work ethic.” …it made me smile. I take a lot of pride in those years of loping ponies and long hours with the greatest West Texas cowboy I know, and I learned a lot.

“Yes sir.” I said..and I noticed an ornery looking grin about him.

Then he said, “You know what really impressed me about you?” …puzzled, I shook my head, and that’s when he said “Your handshake.”

Now I was the one with the ornery grin! When someone compliments something that is relevant to my character, I can’t usually contain myself. Of course I gave him a thank you, but he went on to say “It’s not often you get a handshake like that, it’s respectable.”

I was seriously speechless.

The second fella showed up and we proceeded to visit about what they’d require, my ability to do those things not originally discussed, etc….near the end of our chat a man walked into the office. He seemed important, sure enough …it was their CPA. I stood and shook his hand when they introduced us. Mr.CPA looked down at the fellas doing my interview like “Whoa, really?” …I just smiled as I sat back down.

Driving home I reflected on this. I had never thought about those little things. Those little signs of respect and sincerity that set me apart…the confidence I exude when introducing myself that makes me memorable. I know that I’m silly and quirky and funny and a bit odd, but I now know that those aren’t the qualities that stand out.

It’s my genuine being…it’s ME, as an individual. It’s my manners, it’s the way I was raised…it’s the fact that I’m different. It’s the fact that I respect people as individuals.

I’m pretty proud of that.

So, even if I don’t land this job…I know that in the last year of soul searching I’ve done something right. I’ve stayed true to my most genuine self. The woman who has never met a stranger, who respects everyone and who would do just about anything to put a smile on a face.

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Seriously, anything.

Stay true to who you are. Be YOU.

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

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#RoadTo27 Day 2 – Change

Yesterday was day one of the newest DragonFit bootcamp round. I decided I was gong to fully commit this round, no half assing. I posted in our sisterhood group that I was going to do the “Mile For Time” challenge mentioned in our emails, and that I was going to crush my fastest mile. When I woke up this morning I had one thing on my mind – beating that time. I went to sleep thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it…I was going to do it.

I stretched and reached for my phone to check the time and the first thing I saw was a text from a girlfriend that said;

“Why am I afraid of change?!?!”

I sat there, phone in hand, trying to think of just what to tell her…

Because it’s scary! That’s why!!

What if you fail? What if you can’t do it? What if you lose friends? What if people mock you? What if…

…what if you succeed?

Over the last year I’ve made more changes than I can actually really wrap my head around. Small things like shaving off half my hair…and huge things like leaving my toxic marriage.

They were all scary, and they all caused exponential self growth. I’ve grown accustom to change, and I really like it – but it’s still very scary. I like it because I always grow and learn about myself, even if the change wasn’t necessarily “good”.

So, here’s my advice on change.

  • Embrace it, embrace the HELL out of it. It’s gonna be scary, but it’s going to be worth it.
  • Figure out what part of it is actually scaring you – for me, it’s often the fear of success.
  • Understand that every time you walk through a new door you’re going to lose people. Also understand that is perfectly okay. Most people we meet are just for certain phases of our lives, the ones who are meant to follow through each door will remain.
  • If there is someone who doesn’t support your change, they are NOT your tribe and you do not need them.
  • Seek positive energy and surround yourself with people who have similar goals and ambitions. It wasn’t until I did this that I really started to succeed.
  • Don’t worry about the thoughts of others. This is particularly true for lifestyle changes. When I started lifting like crazy and packing on muscle, I lost a lot of “friends” …that was my choice. No one get’s to decide what my body should look like but me!
  • LAUGH. When you hit a speed bump or completely screw up, laugh about it. Realize you’re human, find the light and just move forward.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.Ever.
  • Find some consistency. Even if it doesn’t seem consistent, as long as you’re pushing towards your goals…you’re going to make the change permanent.
  • Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is just in your head, there really are no failures…only lessons. Find the lesson and push forward. Readjust if you must, but keep moving towards the goal.
  • Get out of your own head. Don’t overthink it, just do it.

I think my last bit of advice on making change is this…

ALWAYS believe in yourself…and when you don’t, do it anyway.

I didn’t believe in myself when I stepped foot out to go on that run this morning. I knew there was NO way I was going to beat that time of 13:31…but I went out, and tried my damndest anyway.

I crushed it, by the way…by over 2 minutes.

You don’t always have to believe in yourself to create change, you just have to fight through the fear.

After all, on the other side of fear lies freedom.

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xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Not You, It’s Me.

An open letter to all the “best friends” I’ve had that disappeared without warning.

I’ve come to the conclusion today that it’s not you, it’s me.

I’m too much.

Too confident, too loud, to funny, too honest…

I’m too aggressive with the things I want…

I like to make people laugh too much, and I really like to make sure others understand their worth.

I like to make people feel loved, wanted and appreciated…

I really like to spoil.

I like to dig down deep and get to know people, especially those I see incredible potential in.

I’m a huge fan of expressing myself in weird ways, like dancing, singing, doing push ups…anything that will make an awkward situation even more awkward.

I don’t like awkward situations, so I am pretty good at acting like a fool to make others feel better.

So sorry about that….

Yeah, no I’m not….because that would mean I’m apologizing for being me; because you couldn’t handle ME.

I’m not sorry for being exactly who I am to you, showing you my soul and letting you run away with the parts I invested in you. You obviously needed them more than me, and that’s okay.

I’m not sorry at all for all the times I showed up to cry with you, or the weird things we did together…or the late night conversations to solve the world’s problems, nope. Not one bit. I’m not sorry for loving you completely and spoiling you…because I think that’s what best friends do. I’m not sorry at all for showing you my true colors…I’m just sorry you couldn’t see that I was being genuine.

I’m sorry that you felt the need to pull away from me and I’m sorry that I didn’t get to roll over into the next chapter with you, but I’m very grateful for all the times we had! Thank you for being part of my life, even if it was only temporary….and thanks for showing me that even if it’s for a short while, you should love those best friends with all your being.

You should also know…if the day comes and you need to knock on my door, it will always be open to you….because that’s just who I am.

Maybe it’s not me after all….

Xoxo

OkieGirl

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Unplug.

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Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been doing some serious soul searching.

Maybe it’s because this is my last week of being 25…or maybe it’s because I’m sick of living “the way I’m supposed to”.

It seems like society has painted a completely unrealistic idea of what a woman is “supposed to be”. We are supposed to dress nice, fix our hair, do our makeup and always be on point. We’re supposed to drive nice cars, raise nice families, sip our wine and never cuss. We’re “SUPPOSED” to be stay-at-home-mom’s or climbing the corporate ladder.

…but WHY?

What is SO wrong with a girl who can take care of herself? Why is it SO unsuitable for a girl to enjoy hunting, fishing and playing in the mud? Why is it frowned upon for a lady to turn a wrench and get her hands greasy, or work her ass off in the oilfield, or be skilled in running large equipment? And just why is it SO wrong for a woman to choose to not have children?

I guess I probably sound like some sort of feminist or something, but I wouldn’t really say that.

I believe WOMEN are the ones who’ve given us these ridiculous stereotypes. They are the ones who are offended by the women like me who CAN get along just fine in a mans world. I would never fight for some sort of “equality” …I just want to be recognized for working my ass of just like the next guy.

BUT…back to wherever I was going with this.

In realizing that I’m 100% the opposite of what society expects me to be..I came to realize something…that it’s completely okay!

I no longer wish to appease anyone and their expectations of a woman.

I want people to continue to say “I think it’s so weird that you do that.”

I want people to continue to bring up the fact that I’m different…because different is good, period. I want to start conversations and be an advocate of women learning to do shit they’re “not supposed to know” …hell, maybe I’ll put on a camp.

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I’m just so over living in this social media run world..and plan to completely unplug from it. I don’t want or need a Facebook, but got one because I was convinced It’d help my business…it hasn’t. I am ready to go back to my roots. Spending hours upon hours outside, in nature…doing the things I love to do. Sure, I still have to go to work…but I don’t have to come home, turn on a TV, play on my phone and “connect” constantly.

I think if we’d all take a little more time getting to know ourselves and this absolutely incredible world we live in…we’d be a lot more humble about all the stuff we have.

Sit back for a minute and think about that.

UNPLUG and LIVE your LIFE…

Do the thing you want to do.

Go to the freaking gym and eat right.

GET OUTSIDE.

Go on adventures.

Find true love.

Meet new people.

LAUGH.EVERY.DAY!

Life is what you make it people, so make it one big incredible voyage that’s worth talking about.

Be in the moment…

…just live.

xoxo

OkieGirl

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Completely Or Not At All. { A Wandering Gypsy Post}

Try harder or walk away-that’s it, those are the choices. As I sit here & read this quote over & over in my head I start to feel as if I’m suffocating.

I haven’t been making these decisions in my life in quite some time, I’ve just been sitting here-existing. This goes for just about anything in our lives…..loving ourselves, loving a spouse, a family member, pursuing your dream or passion.

Have y’all heard the saying “there’s only one way to do everything, completely or not at all”? There is so much truth to that, when did we start thinking it was okay to half-ass something? What if a doctor half-assed a surgery he had to do?

What if a pilot half-assed flying the plane? Whatever we do, we should give it our all. We can choose to continue to give our all in our marriage, friendship, job, whatever it may be. Guys, WE CHOOSE! We choose to wake up & love ourselves, to not suffer.

Why is it that we make more stress & struggle for ourselves? Why is it that we run from making a simple decision that could change our whole live for the better? Why?

It’s simple, but it’s not easy. We all have the power within us to nurture ourselves, heal & become stronger & healthier than we once were. AGAIN, it’s not easy but it’s simple & it’s WORTH IT. At this point in my life I am struggling with multiple things.

I’m struggling to find myself, who I truly am inside. I’m not even sure when I lost myself, when my happiness disappeared into the darkness, when my self-confidence demolished, when I stopped doing the things I love….. It’s a heartbreaking thing to feel empty, alone, confused, lost into the unknown.

I’m struggling with thinking I need validation from anyone else to feel good about myself. I’m struggling with opinions of others, not as much as I used to though. Struggling with feeling guilty for the emotions I have. I believe the choice to stay or leave, ultimately determines whether we free ourselves or we suffer… I don’t know about y’all but I’m always worried about making the “right” decision.

I’m a big “what if” thinker…what if I realize I made the wrong choice & can’t fix it, what if it effects my kids in a negative way, what if everything falls apart? I’m so quick to ask the negative what ifs because of fear… But what if it changes your whole life in a positive way, what if it helps you find who you really are inside, what if your purpose is uncovered? We just need to slow down, be still & listen to what our soul is trying to tell us.

If we pay close enough attention I believe it’ll guide us in the right direction. It probably won’t be easy & it might even be a little painful, but wouldn’t you rather grow into a much better person & truly find happiness?

We need to fight through fear.

Forget about the fear we have inside & make a choice. Forget about the fear of what others might think about our choice….try harder or walk away. And get used to having that choice to make cause it will continue to pop up throughout your life. You have to figure out what’s worth it to you, who are you & what do YOU want-not anyone else. A good place to start is by loving yourself….

XoXo

WanderingGypsy

Quality Over Quanity

As I sit here this afternoon, having a conversation with a dear friend, something hit me.

I don’t have just friends anymore…the kind like when we’re teens, the ones we gab too and grab lunch with once a month.

The friends that I have now are so much more than just friends…they are family.

The women in my life are not just “girlfriends” I gab with about random things (although, don’t get me wrong..we do this too)…they are so much more. They are the women I look up to…the women I aspire to be.

One woman, in particular, has touched my life in a way that she will NEVER understand. Mainly, because I can’t express to her what she has done for me.

She is one of the greatest role models in my life. She is an amazing woman, wife, and mother! She is everything I aspire to be. She is independent and still very grounded in her roots and faith. She is strong, SO strong, yet still has the kindest heart. She works so hard for everything she has despite the hard times that life has handed her. She loves truly and honestly and holds nothing back. She is there for me at times she doesn’t even know I need her. She is beautiful in every sense of the word, both inside and out. She believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself…and she chases her dreams every day.

Bobbie Sue,

Thank you so much for being such an outstanding woman, and thank you even more for being in my life. I look forward to all the crazy adventures we are going to share together! You’re one of a kind!

From one Daddy’s girl to another, you already knew that was true! 😉

 

So, here’s to you, Bobbie Sue, and to the very few real friends that I do have.

You know exactly who you are, and I am thankful for each and every one of you.

As we get older, we realize that the number of friends we have is irrelevant…it’s how amazing and bad ass they are.

xoxo

OkieGirl