Ha! I Win!

I often feel like I repeat myself in these self improvement blogs…

“I used to be really overweight and hated my body…”

“I have actually always hated my body, and I don’t even know why…”

“I went through some really rough times and found myself using alcohol and food as an unsuccessful coping mechanism…”

I guess maybe I do repeat them because they’re relevant to where I am, who I am and why I am doing what I’m doing.

At 13 years old in the 7th grade all I wanted to do was be a cheerleader. I had no interest in any other sports, but for some reason I just really wanted to cheer. Maybe it’s because making others smile, getting them excited and supporting them is what’s hard stamped in my DNA…who knows, but I wanted it.

…this should be the part where I tell you I tried out, got the spot and cheered throughout school; or maybe where I didn’t make it and kept trying until I got it, but it’s not.

I never tried out. I, at 13 years old, thought I was too big to be a cheerleader.

Before Facebook, and Instagram…before the #fitfam was a thing…back in the day when 17 Magazine was all that existed for young girls to compare to, I genuinely believed I was too big to cheer. I don’t know that I ever thought of myself as “fat” per say, but up until a few months ago I always thought I was huge. Like, I felt like I took up a lot of space…

It wasn’t until my wonderful boyfriend held his arms out in front of him one day and said “Look, THIS is how big you are…this is where my arms touch when I hug you!” that I realized how incredibly ‘small’ I actually was, that was a tiny circle. However, I still saw a great big girl in the mirror …over the past year I have fought hard to change my perception of myself, and it’s finally worked. With constant self improvement, positive self talk and a lot of love and support from the best man in the world, it’s finally worked.

It REALLY clicked for me when I received an email from a friend and new client a couple weeks ago. I’ve looked up to her killer physique since I met her! I was noting her starting measurements when I realized we are almost the exact same size! I was baffled, blown away, dumbfounded…I had NEVER thought I could possibly be the same size as her!

Then…it finally happened. When I went to the gym for the first time last week I saw little ole me in the mirror. I didn’t see “great big unhealthy me” …I saw every change, every new visible muscle, every vein that used to be hidden…

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This was the first time I’d seen this girl staring back at me…the first time I actually just saw me for what I am. It was a proud moment, a relief that I’d finally overcome that altered image…that I was finally winning this battle!

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I no longer struggle to fit in my clothes, I no longer feel like I take up so much space, I no longer see that “bigger” version of me. I see the hard work, the dedication, the years of struggles and the triumphs; the obstacles I’ve overcome and everything that’s brought me here.  I have a positive view on the next steps of my journey, and am proud to finally be healthy.

I’m finally winning this battle with myself, after all in the end it is just you vs. you ….

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

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Just A Girl.

I’m just a girl.1Just a girl from a small town in Oklahoma. Just a girl who was raised in the oilfield and on the land. Just a girl who loves more than she fights and has never met a stranger.

Just a girl who is kind and has a heart too big for this cruel world.

I’m just a girl who is 100% authentic in herself…and that’s no longer good enough.

I’m almost 6 foot tall; all legs and a short crooked torso. I wear a t-shirt, jeans and boots almost every day and my “dressed up” is probably less fancy than society’s version of “dressed down” for a 20-something woman these days. I lost my boobs to fitness and I don’t even own a dress. I do love to fix my hair and play in makeup from time to time – but this still just isn’t good enough for this feminist driven society.

Girl power. *insert eye roll here*

I get dirty…a lot, because my job requires it. I’m not afraid to work, never have been. I was shoveling shit on a ranch before I could drive, earning my keep that led me to be the horseman I am today. I love to go out in the field and come home at the end of the day filthy and exhausted because I busted my ass.

I also love to come home at the end of that day and throw some laundry in, whip up dinner and make sure the house is in order. There’s just something about the smile on a mans face when dinner is almost ready when he gets home.

SHOOT ME!

I’m not a feminist.

I.

AM.

NOT.

A.

FEMINIST!

You bet your ass I think a woman’s place is in the kitchen.You bet your ass I think it’s a woman’s duty to be the sole homemaker.You can also bet your ass that I believe any successful relationship is first based on friendship and mutual respect.

I’ve watched this dynamic since I opened my eyes and I respect my grandparents and their marriage of 66 years more than any of these short lived so called relationships of this century.

I am an extremely independent woman and there aren’t many things I can’t do on my own, but I can tell you from experience…I absolutely REFUSE to live in a household without a dynamic like my grandparents have, ever again. I don’t WANT to be equal to the man in  my life – that’s not the structure I desire. I want a man who can be a man, someone who desires to take care of me and protect me; not someone constantly hiding behind me and asking ME for direction? If I wanted that I would have been a switch hitter.

I am so confused by feminism, I guess specifically because I’ve never not “felt equal” to men? Maybe that’s because I was raised in the industries of a man and learned quick that in order to keep my place I needed to earn it? Who freaking knows.

All I know is this – women have created this skewed vision of the “modern woman” that is FUCKING THINGS UP!

We are all supposed to be put together, with perfect bodies and skin, stay up with the latest fashion, have high paying jobs, pay someone else to raise our kids, get educations, and bitch about the things men are doing wrong. We are supposed to rebel against EVERYfuckingTHING that is “typical” for a woman, too.

     Shave? OH no..fuck you, I’m a woman! I don’t have to do what you say! 

COOK? HA! You can cook your own dinner! Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I have to cook for you! 

    Don’t open my door, I can do it myself! 

GIRL POWER! No one can tell us what to do with our bodies, let’s parade around half naked!

       NO! I won’t have an office job, I want a “mans job” …and I want paid just the same!

Have I already asked you to shoot me? If not…SHOOT ME ALREADY!

Do you know how embarrassing it is to be a woman in her 20’s these days?

Women have made feminism into something extreme that is going to greatly impact the younger generations – in a very negative way. They are single-handedly killing chivalry one “I’ll get my own door” at a time. They have completely taken the modesty and mystery out of, well, EVERYTHING – and they are getting MAD about the reactions it’s causing. Not to mention that whole equal pay business.

 

We are constantly downgrading men for being “dogs” and “players” …but won’t step back and see what’s made them this way.

We idolize people like Beyonce’ and Miley Cyrus but bent out of fucking shape when Trump says he wants to grab someone by the pussy?

Do I think it’s okay for a man to throw degrading words at a woman? HELL to the NO, and I’ll be the first one to say something if I see it happen..BUT…

You get what you put out into the world. Respect yourself and you will be respected.

Keep your kitten in her pants and well, maybe no one will try and pet the damn thing.

I’m fucking old school. I don’t fit the mold of any “stereotypical female” and I never will conform to one.I will always happily go into “wife mode” when chores need done and I’ll always happily roll up my sleeves when someone needs an extra hand. Instead of crying to my mommy if some asshole runs his mouth, I’m going to just bitch slap him and tell him what I think!( I’d also suggest you keep your “oh, but what if he overpowers you” thoughts to yourself unless you REALLY want to open that can of worms.) If I get another job, where I make less than the men at the company,(*note, this is the current situation for my job) I probably won’t ever say anything…because there is LIKELY a reason! AND…get this, if there isn’t…I’ll just leave.

I’ll also continue to uplift every woman I see, because these standards…these things that have made me be scared to be myself for so many years, they’re scary. They’re ruining the younger generation and killing a part of what made love and marriage so beautiful to begin with.

I don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about now…

I bet this stirs the shit pots of a LOT of folks out there.

Here’s to ya!

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#RoadTo27 Day 2 – Change

Yesterday was day one of the newest DragonFit bootcamp round. I decided I was gong to fully commit this round, no half assing. I posted in our sisterhood group that I was going to do the “Mile For Time” challenge mentioned in our emails, and that I was going to crush my fastest mile. When I woke up this morning I had one thing on my mind – beating that time. I went to sleep thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it…I was going to do it.

I stretched and reached for my phone to check the time and the first thing I saw was a text from a girlfriend that said;

“Why am I afraid of change?!?!”

I sat there, phone in hand, trying to think of just what to tell her…

Because it’s scary! That’s why!!

What if you fail? What if you can’t do it? What if you lose friends? What if people mock you? What if…

…what if you succeed?

Over the last year I’ve made more changes than I can actually really wrap my head around. Small things like shaving off half my hair…and huge things like leaving my toxic marriage.

They were all scary, and they all caused exponential self growth. I’ve grown accustom to change, and I really like it – but it’s still very scary. I like it because I always grow and learn about myself, even if the change wasn’t necessarily “good”.

So, here’s my advice on change.

  • Embrace it, embrace the HELL out of it. It’s gonna be scary, but it’s going to be worth it.
  • Figure out what part of it is actually scaring you – for me, it’s often the fear of success.
  • Understand that every time you walk through a new door you’re going to lose people. Also understand that is perfectly okay. Most people we meet are just for certain phases of our lives, the ones who are meant to follow through each door will remain.
  • If there is someone who doesn’t support your change, they are NOT your tribe and you do not need them.
  • Seek positive energy and surround yourself with people who have similar goals and ambitions. It wasn’t until I did this that I really started to succeed.
  • Don’t worry about the thoughts of others. This is particularly true for lifestyle changes. When I started lifting like crazy and packing on muscle, I lost a lot of “friends” …that was my choice. No one get’s to decide what my body should look like but me!
  • LAUGH. When you hit a speed bump or completely screw up, laugh about it. Realize you’re human, find the light and just move forward.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help.Ever.
  • Find some consistency. Even if it doesn’t seem consistent, as long as you’re pushing towards your goals…you’re going to make the change permanent.
  • Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is just in your head, there really are no failures…only lessons. Find the lesson and push forward. Readjust if you must, but keep moving towards the goal.
  • Get out of your own head. Don’t overthink it, just do it.

I think my last bit of advice on making change is this…

ALWAYS believe in yourself…and when you don’t, do it anyway.

I didn’t believe in myself when I stepped foot out to go on that run this morning. I knew there was NO way I was going to beat that time of 13:31…but I went out, and tried my damndest anyway.

I crushed it, by the way…by over 2 minutes.

You don’t always have to believe in yourself to create change, you just have to fight through the fear.

After all, on the other side of fear lies freedom.

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xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Start.

How To Start Your Health Journey

  1. MORE WATER – At least 3 liters a day, aim for a gallon
  2. CUT OUT THE POP – no soda, no sugary drinks, no Gatorade, no liquid CRAP.
  3. FORGET THE DIET – Get the idea of “going on a diet” out of your head and focus on creating a sustainable way of eating for life – not just for now.
  4. NO MORE “FAST & PROCESSED” – Skip the fast food and anything in a box. Keep to the outside aisles of your grocery store and as close to whole, real and natural foods as possible. 5 ingredients or less is a good rule of thumb.
  5. DON’T OVER COMPLICATE – Seriously, it’s not that hard. Food is fuel, use it as such. Eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full.
  6. LEARN WHEN YOU’RE FULL – Don’t drink with your meal. Before is fine, but stop when you start eating. When you get thirsty (more thirsty than hungry, that is) get a drink and STOP eating. This will retrain your brain to understand the difference in thirst and hunger.
  7. FORGET WHAT YOU “KNOW” – If you wake up in the morning, every single morning, and are NEVER hungry…don’t feel like you have to eat because “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” …breakfast has no time – it’s simply when you “break your fast”. If you’re not hungry until 10am or even 1pm …eat then. Your body is efficient and it’s telling you what it needs – LISTEN!
  8. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY – If you get tired after eating bread, stop. If you feel amazing after eating bacon, eat more. We all use fat and carbohydrates differently as fuel – some burn carbs better and some burn fat. Get in tune and figure out what your body likes.
  9. CARBS AREN’T THE DEVIL – Believe it or not, you need carbs to function. Choose them wisely and stop stressing, they aren’t going to kill you.
  10. REMOVE THE EMOTION – There should be no emotion attached to eating. It is not for celebrating, it is not a reward, it is simply fuel for your body. FOOD IS FUEL. Repeat that until you understand it. FOOD.IS.FUEL…nothing else.
  11. NO GUILT – NEVER feel guilty about eating something. If you want it, eat it! Enjoy it and move on. Don’t beat yourself up or even refer to those special goody meals as cheats – remember, food is just fuel…as long as you’re using race fuel about 80% of the time, that 20% of the time you use 87 octane pump gas isn’t going to hurt you. ENJOY your life.

The first step is simply trying. You will have hiccups, you will get confused and overwhelmed and begin to overthink…and when you do, go back to step 1 and KEEP trying until you find that sweet spot.

xoxo

OkieGirl

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Hunt The Switch.

Of all the struggles that come with self discovery and the journey to health and self love the hardest for me has been SEEING the changes on the outside.

I can feel the internal changes, point out the lifestyle changes, SHOW you the physical changes…but until just recently when I would look in the mirror I would see the same girl that I was a year ago; and I’m just not her anymore.

I know that I have lost 5 jean sizes, I KNOW that my measurements are consistently decreasing, I know that I am adding muscle in all the places that I want it to be…but I couldn’t see it.

No matter HOW hard I tried, no matter how many progress photos I compared…looking in the mirror would disappoint me EVERY single time.

There was a defining moment shortly after I had hit my 35″ waist goal that I remember very vividly…and I went home that night and just saw myself differently.

I don’t know what flipped the switch, and I wish I could figure it out…because finally seeing yourself the way the world sees you is really liberating. Being able to be proud and KNOW how you look – its incredible. Finally seeing on the outside what I feel on the inside is so new, and so exciting…and a little bit scary too.

Why scary? Because I know I will go through this struggle time and time again…I will have to hunt for that vision over and over with every step of the journey. BUT – that’s okay, because now that my mind is in the place it needs to be, I think I can overcome any obstacle that steps in my way.

Once you change your mindset things begin to come easier. Once you learn to LOVE yourself no matter what and don’t let anything define you…it all beings to make sense.

Until then, embrace the chaos and imperfections and hunt for the thing that flips your switch. Don’t base your vision of yourself off of that of another…find the true you and ROCK that shit.

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

 

#LikeAGirl

Yesterday, amidst a random conversation, it was brought to my attention that not everyone can understand “why I want to look like a man”…

I know, stop laughing..I have a point to make here.

About a year ago I decided to take hold of the reins to my life and get healthy…I know, heaven forbid we do that in this day and age.

It just so happens that, my body LOVES to be strong…what’s that mean? It means I pack on muscle like a beast without really trying. Whatta you want from me – I’m genetically blessed to be a badass.28

As a woman in today’s society it’s a daily fight to try and fit in, to meet the “standards” set by Hollyweird and the fashion industries and shitty magazines that sell photo shopped images of girls who were actually already perfect to begin with.

I have struggled with a fucked up body image since about 5th grade …because I was around a foot taller than everyone in my class – EVERYONE. Somewhere around age 15 I began to embrace who I was…a tall weirdo who doesn’t do anything any of the other kids do.

I’m still that same girl. I’m doing things so many people see as “weird” or “wrong” …when in reality it’s just different.

Sure, most women don’t spend 7 days a week trying to build and perfect their bodies.

MOST women don’t care to sculpt the perfect delts and obliques.

WELL, guess what. I’m not most women.

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The reason I want to “look like a man” …is because THAT is how I was made to look. My body is simply developing the way it was supposed to. As a fellow bad ass bitch so perfectly stated…

“Listen, just because my body was developed for something other than fucking millionaires, doesn’t mean it’s masculine. I think it’s femininely badass as fuck because there’s not a single muscle on body that isn’t for a purpose because I’m not a do nothin’ bitch.” -Rousey

Having muscle and being strong DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN!

If you think I “look like a man” cool! THANKS, I think you look like a fucking wet noodle…

BUT – the difference in you and I is integrity, confidence and a kind heart. I would never tell you that I thought you were overweight, or you were too thin…because IT’S YOUR BODY!

The fact that MEN can talk shit about strong women just tells me one thing -they’re fucking jealous.

They’re jealous of our drive, our ability to put in the work and get the results, our ability to obtain something that could never be purchased, only created.

If you think my body is dudely, great. If you think it’s feminine, great. If you don’t give a shit either way because it’s MY body and not yours – even freaking better.

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There are plenty of people putting others down, especially women – and it needs to stop.

We are so much more than our shells. We are all so much more than a nice body, or a pretty face. If you wanna lift the hell out of some weights and pack on muscle, DO IT! If you wanna do yoga, get thin and have a soft body..DO IT!

BUT whatever you do…never let what someone else thinks about you change your drive, or your self image.

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Love your body.

Love the journey.

Embrace the setbacks and the restarts.

Celebrate the triumphs and always move forward.

HUSTLE.

The dream won’t work unless you do.

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P.S. You can buy tits…traps must be earned.

Until then, forget it all and go lift like a girl.

xoxo

OkieGirl

 

So You Wanna Lose Some Weight?

So you wanna lose some weight, get healthy, build some muscle and lose some fat?

You say you’ve tried everything and nothing works…the fat just won’t come off. You’ve tried all the pills and quick fixes, you’ve worked out and ate healthy..there must just be something wrong with you.

Well, there is.

You’re lying to yourself.

How do I know? Because I’ve done it.

I’ve lied to myself about how much effort I was actually putting into workouts, and how healthy I was actually eating. I wanted an excuse as to why I was overweight other than I had done it to myself.

There isn’t one.

For exactly one month I have been 100% on point with my diet and have been consistent in my workouts. It’s sad for me to say this is the longest I’ve stuck to something…and guess what; I’m seeing the results I want!

I’m down 13 pounds and numerous inches in just this short time. My food selection is really limited right now, but that’s what I needed to make the change…and I don’t even feel deprived because it’s all SO good.

My workouts are crazy, fun and addictive…and it’s so amazing watching my body change.

My skin is clear, my brain fog is gone, my anger and anxiety have completely disappeared and I haven’t had a headache in a month. I am happier, I sleep better, I have SO much more energy and I don’t crash in the  afternoon. All my digestive issues have worked themselves out and my hair is even growing faster…oh yeah, and the fat loss and muscle gain is pretty great. On top of all that my body aches and joint pain is gone as well…WHY did it take me so long to really give this an honest try?

At this point…there is no going back. There is no more fast food or processed shit for this girl, and DAMN sure no gluten! I feel like I need to write my body a sincere apology for treating it so poorly for so long.

Most people don’t actually know how good they’re designed to feel.

So, here’s my advice.

Stop looking for that quick fix.

Cut out gluten, dairy and EVERY single processed food or drink, get in at least 3 GOOD workouts a week…and give that an HONEST effort for 4 weeks and then see how you feel.

Is it an easy change? HELL no…but it’s been the absolute best thing I’ve ever done…and I’ll never be the person I used to be because of it.

I will say…it’s so much easier if you have a partner (in my case, my wonderful husband). Sometimes you just need to whine about how much you really want that Red Lobster biscuit…and have someone who understands.

Also – it’s important to make it fun. Don’t think of it as something restrictive or a short term diet..look at it as a permanent change. Have little fitness contests with your partner in crime, and keep laughing through the struggles.

If you can make it 4 weeks…you can make it a lifetime.

You ARE worth it.

If you don’t have a partner…EMAIL ME! I’ll be your P.I.C!!

This life is to beautiful to waste it in pain and unhappy.

So, you get out there and KILL IT!

xoxo

OkieGirl

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