An open letter to all the “best friends” I’ve had that disappeared without warning.
I’ve come to the conclusion today that it’s not you, it’s me.
I’m too much.
Too confident, too loud, to funny, too honest…
I’m too aggressive with the things I want…
I like to make people laugh too much, and I really like to make sure others understand their worth.
I like to make people feel loved, wanted and appreciated…
I really like to spoil.
I like to dig down deep and get to know people, especially those I see incredible potential in.
I’m a huge fan of expressing myself in weird ways, like dancing, singing, doing push ups…anything that will make an awkward situation even more awkward.
I don’t like awkward situations, so I am pretty good at acting like a fool to make others feel better.
So sorry about that….
Yeah, no I’m not….because that would mean I’m apologizing for being me; because you couldn’t handle ME.
I’m not sorry for being exactly who I am to you, showing you my soul and letting you run away with the parts I invested in you. You obviously needed them more than me, and that’s okay.
I’m not sorry at all for all the times I showed up to cry with you, or the weird things we did together…or the late night conversations to solve the world’s problems, nope. Not one bit. I’m not sorry for loving you completely and spoiling you…because I think that’s what best friends do. I’m not sorry at all for showing you my true colors…I’m just sorry you couldn’t see that I was being genuine.
I’m sorry that you felt the need to pull away from me and I’m sorry that I didn’t get to roll over into the next chapter with you, but I’m very grateful for all the times we had! Thank you for being part of my life, even if it was only temporary….and thanks for showing me that even if it’s for a short while, you should love those best friends with all your being.
You should also know…if the day comes and you need to knock on my door, it will always be open to you….because that’s just who I am.
Maybe it’s not me after all….