Destiny.

“The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

Dream big…and do big things! Never let anything stop you.

xoxo

OkieGirl

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The Only Limitations In Life Are The Ones You Create! {A Wandering Gypsy Post}

So there I was last night, sitting on my couch scrolling through Instagram. I was looking at all my favorite fitness & inspirational pages. The very first thought that entered my mind was “man I hate how unhealthy & out of shape I am.” Then not long after there came my second, “I wish I could look that good.” And my last negative thought that came to me was “I just can’t ever find the time to work out like they do.”

At this point it clicked and I just started laughing! (at myself, like seriously)
Why am I justifying my laziness?
“Life has no limitations, except the ones you create”
I am creating my own limitations. It can be a truly powerful thing once this clicks in your mind. Seriously, I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. Nothing can stop me except for my own thoughts. And that’s exactly what was stopping me…before this moment. NOT ANYMORE!
I WILL get healthier!
I WILL get into the best shape possible!
I WILL get stronger!
I WILL continue to grow everyday, to be the best me possible!
And I will enjoy every second of this journey. We just have to realize that we are capable, worthy & we deserve it! No go do whatever the fuck you want!! -there are no limits!
xoxo
-Wandering Gypsy

If All Else Fails, Go Squat.

Today started out okay…I was a little tired but other than that felt pretty good. I got to work and everything was gravy, and out of nowhere I just had a breakdown. I’m talking like body shaking, heart racing, fingers tingling fighting back tears type breakdown. I have never felt so out of control…and it was scary.

I struggled through my work and left at noon. I knew I had to do something to get through this overbearing anxiety, so I headed to my squat rack. I just kept squatting and adding weight, over and over and over. I added more weight than I have ever squatted before (double what I have ever done, actually)…afterwards I felt SO good. I was beaming with pride because I had squatted 140 pounds 13 times after probably 100 (or more) lower weight squats. I was sweaty, exhausted and relieved. I had won. 

I came inside, fixed a good lunch and relaxed. I was scrolling through Instagram looking through my favorite fitness pages when I INSTANTLY started picking apart my body in my head. My accomplishments had disappeared and I forgot about how crazy awesome my legs looked after my squat sesh. 

What. The. Hell. 

At what point in my life did I become not good enough? At what point did I lose pride in who I am and my body? It was only today that I realized…I AM one of those fit girls. I am SO strong…not because I have always worked out, but because I have always worked. The beginning of my fitness journey is some peoples middle. I am lifting more at the VERY beginning than some people ever will. I’m not trying to brag, but am just trying to make a point.

We must not compare ourselves to others!!!

You are your own person, and you must stay true to that. Sure, you should find people to look up to and get inspired by…but choose people who are also beautiful on the inside. Choose someone who inspires you to be a better PERSON, not just have a better body. Find women who are confident for the right reasons, and ones who put of a vibe that makes you feel good. 

I know it’s hard not to feel like you’re good enough – I PROMISE , I do! BUT, you are! You are perfect, amazing and uniquely you.

Stay true, do you and be you – unapologetically! 

…and if all else fails, squat it out! 

XoXo

OkieGirl 
Following are some of my favorite Instagram accounts of truly beautiful and inspirational women, feel free to share those who inspire you! 

  • @breilly728
  • @dreamerdragon
  • @iamdragonfit 
  • @danalinnbailey
  • @yogibuffcakes 
  • @jojo_green7
  • @kberezowski
  • @sunshinesjourney
  • @healthyhooper 
  • @evanchilds 
  • @emonfre 

I am sure there are some I’m forgetting! 

Finding The Light.

Among all the hate and history lessons floating around the internet – I thought I would share a story of pain, struggle and hope.

**If you are a close friend or our family – please don’t be offended that I didn’t call and tell you. Please don’t take it personally that you didn’t know before I shared it here. I’m not usually one to share something so personal to begin with – but feel like I should say what countless others are afraid to. I love you all and hope you understand that you’re very important to me…but sometimes I just have to write it out.**

Almost 7 years ago standing around a bon fire I met the love of my life. It was one of those almost instant things…those things you just know. From that night on we didn’t spend much time apart. I think it wasn’t until we had been together for almost 6 months and moved into a house of our own that I said, “You know – you never ACTUALLY asked me out!”  So then, of course – he did!

Sometime into our relationship we had the “kids” talk, because…that’s just something you need to do if you plan on spending FOREVER with someone. He already has two wonderful boys, and I have never really had that “burning desire” to reproduce – so we shared some common ground on not really wanting one of our own. For anyone who knows me – this is to no surprise, I’m just not the momma type… and I personally think that’s okay.

WELL – flash forward like 5 years after that conversation to the day I had to tell my husband that I was late…and, understandably he was confused because I’m never late for anything! I was really late…and I already knew what the little urine covered stick was going to tell me.

PREGNANT

Big bold terrifying letters! I cried, he looked at me like I was crazy, I laughed because I was terrified – still looking at me like I was crazy….then we sat in silence on the couch.

The next day was better…I downloaded an ap on my phone, did all the weird Chinese gender calendar things, found some really good vitamins and really started taking care of my body. In the few short weeks I got to experience being pregnant a lot of things happened.

I found an entirely new love for my husband.

I found an entirely new love for myself and my health.

I found my vulnerable side, and touched base with my strong side.

And I got REALLY in tune with my body.

It was a Friday – just another day at work, hiding being 7 weeks pregnant, I was walking to the back to get some water (and to pee for the 400th time) and I felt a weird pop down there in lady-ville. I remember texting my best friend and telling her “I just felt a bubble pop or something-what is happening?!” She reassured me that I’m just crazy and that it was probably just my body moving something around – bodies do weird things when they’re growing a bean!

As I thought about the pop…my heart began to sink. Two days before, my symptoms had seemingly disappeared – but I let google assure me that it was natural for them to come and go so early.

I tried to keep my mind clear of negative thoughts and go about my day; I guess that worked until I got home.

I let the dog out of her kennel and had to pee AGAIN (probably time 783 for the day) when I noticed some spotting. It wasn’t the color that you can just ignore, either. I broke down there on the toilet, with only the dog home at the time to comfort me. Even though having a child was never in our plan, we had grown to accept the idea and even get excited about it. It was our new reality and I had grown quite fond of the blob in my belly, and the idea of a little red headed me running amuck.

I pulled myself together and called my husband to tell him things weren’t looking good. I tried to hold on to some hope that it was just another weird pregnancy symptom – but in my heart, I knew better.

We had plans on this night – a few friends were coming over to help us get started on our deck! Mikel and I had to go into the home improvement store to get a few last minute items…and when he was in the store, that’s when it started.

I’m a tough girl, I don’t cry…and you can rarely tell if I’m in pain. By the time he got back into the truck – I had a face full of tears and was curled up into a ball. When he asked what was wrong all I could muster was, “It hurts…it hurts a LOT.”

He wanted to take me to the ER, he wanted to cancel our deck plans…and I wouldn’t let him.

The pain came in waves – I guess technically contractions. With each set of cramps came another mass of blood and tissue. This lasted for about 5 hours…happening about every 15-20 minutes. I didn’t go lay in bed and wait it out, I didn’t lay there and cry and pity myself, I walked around outside (this actually helped with the pain, sitting was unbearable), I helped with the deck, I entertained our company…and I held tight to my husband any chance I got.

WHY did I do that…I guess because that was my way of coping at the time; my way of creating a normal amongst the very much not-normal.

I’m very lucky that my body is tough and very efficient – after the 5 excruciating hours, the rest was pretty pain free. For this, I am thankful.

I had an ultrasound the following Monday morning to confirm what I already knew and to make sure that it was all complete. I couldn’t have asked for a better and more caring and comforting nurse…she was so positive and reassuring. My body had done a good job of clearing everything out and there was no need for medical assistance of any kind.

Thank you, body, for taking care of me even though I have abused you plenty of times.

For a few days, I was sad…but wouldn’t allow myself to fall into a depression. I searched each and every day for a positive outcome, and NEVER blamed myself for the loss of our little peanut.

I guess I’m a believer in divine intervention – and that there is a reason for everything. I’m a person that is full of hope and can find the light in the darkest situation.

I know many of you reading this just can’t imagine doing that – but I promise, there is hope…and there IS a reason for everything.

Though all the emotional and physical pains, some amazing things have come for me.

I have never felt closer to my husband or more emotionally connected to him.

I have never cared more about taking care of my body and getting healthy.

I have never cherished my own life and how incredibly short it truly is.

I have never been more clear about my purpose in life, until now.

I have never felt stronger or more empowered…until now, but to me the most positive thing that has come from this is an unimaginable change in my body.

I haven’t had a single twinge of endometriosis pain since our loss.

Sure, it may be superficial and sound selfish – but where I had no hope for ever being pain free and living a normal life, NOW I do, I can, I AM!!

I’m all around a better person for this loss – and my marriage is stronger than ever.

I think every situation allows for the opportunity to get bound up in the negative and let it consume you – but those same opportunities allow for positive and life altering changes, if you choose to see them.

It’s so easy to blame yourself, it’s so easy to fall into a dark place and retreat into a depression. It’s so easy to push away from those who love you and want to help you…and it’s SO hard to stay optimistic about such a painful event…BUT, each is a choice.

I choose happy. I choose to use this event in my life to help others.

I choose to grow as a person, a wife, and a step-mother.

I choose to treat every day as a blessing.

I choose to share this story with you because, it’s real…it’s life…it happens to 1 in 4 women, and some of them just don’t know what to do.

If you are one of them just remember this;

There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with grieving.

There is also nothing wrong with searching for the light and making the best of a tragic situation.

There is NOTHING wrong with doing and dealing the way YOU want and not the way society proclaims you should.

This is your life, your body and your experience…make of it what you will!

My heart goes out to each and every person who has suffered from a loss of any kind, and I urge you to TRY and find some positive in the darkest situations.

“Babies lost in the womb were NEVER touched by fear, they were NEVER cold, NEVER hungry, NEVER alone and importantly they ALWAYS knew love.” – Z Clark – Coates

Have hope and stay true to who you are.

xoxo

OkieGirl

mc2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Things: Country Summer Edition

Red dirt and wheat fields, corn husks and whiskey,

Hound dogs and shotguns and folks feeling frisky.

Bass ponds and camp fires in summer or spring,

These are a few of my favorite things!

Big jacked up pickups and mud holes and swimming,

Dirt roads and tractors, the sun as it’s dimming.

Cat fish on trot lines and no phones to ring,

These are a few of my favorite things!

Girls in their cutoffs and old Tony Llama’s

The rebel flag waving, ignoring our Mommas

Flip cup and beer pong, so drunk that we sing

These are a few of my favorite things!

When the snow comes,

When the beer’s gone,

When I’m feeling sad….

I simply remember my favorite things

Then I don’t feel so bad.

AND – you’re welcome! 😉

Hope this gave you a little smile!

If you have a verse to add – leave it below! 😉

xoxo

OkieGirl