As I sit here nibbling on some steak sauce covered tuna I realized that I probably seem really weird to my co-workers. Given they are family, they think I’m a little weird anyway.
Let me give you a little back story before I go into whatever I was about to head into.
In high school I was pretty active (training horses every day after school and on the weekends) so I was actually in really good shape. I didn’t really eat GREAT, but it wasn’t terrible, and I honestly had no idea that there was a difference. I think I weighed about 180 pounds (I’m 5’11”) and I had the WORST body image of anyone I know. I thought I was fat and gross and would never EVER wear a bikini anywhere that was public. I graduated and went to training full time…got in even better shape. I still had no idea. I was holding a little body fat in my middle and I couldn’t see all the other amazing things about my body. I can’t even tell you what my middle actually looked like!
WELL – here I am some 6 years later. I’m very happily married, and absolutely love myself and my body. Want to know something crazy? I’ve gained 40 pounds! NO – I’m not proud of that, and NO I’m not healthy (hold please, getting to that one) but I DO love my body. I am still strong even though I’ve got some extra body fat…and my body puts up with tons of abuse and still keeps going.
Some time last year I decided I had to get my shit together and get rid of this extra weight. It wasn’t just to feel and look better…it was mainly because I was concerned for my health and my joints. Well …I wasn’t 100% committed and partying was way more fun than eating well and working out. I yo-yoed from fad diet to fad diet, burner and blocker to all kinds of stupid workouts….but I couldn’t ever stick with any of them.
I was never concerned about “fitness” only about losing some weight so I would feel better and look better.
It was around the end of June when my vision of weight loss and fitness and muscles all changed.
My sweet friend D (who has always been a fit girl/yogi/clean eater since I’ve known her) decided that she would take on a bikini fitness competition (yea, I had no idea what that was either!). Well, when girls do something like that they like to take photos mid-way through their “prep” to document how much their bodies change…I’m kinda a photographer, so she hit me up and we set a date.
That morning when I was snapping shots of D and P and chatting about what they do was the day I decided that I had to get on that heavy lifting bandwagon.
(NOTE – those girls were still FIVE weeks out from their show – they rock!)
Well, of course I got all motivated for about a month…eating really well and working out (wrong) at home. I didn’t see results and off the wagon I fell. I kept making up excuses and just almost giving up on myself. Somewhere in all of that raucous I really found an interest in nutrition and just spent hours and hours each week reading and learning and researching. This eventually lead to a huge interest in fitness and the human body…reading, learning, researching. SO after about 3 months of that I decided that I was actually getting pretty dang educated on all of this and I should REALLY commit. So I did…and I haven’t looked back.
I joined my local YMCA (we don’t have a gym) and it took me about a month to actually GO. I was doing yoga and focusing on my eating and started seeing some results and real changes in my body. That motivated me more. Last Monday I went to the gym for the first time since I got my membership and I smashed it. I went 4 days and worked out at home one day. My eating was good and I even managed to cut out a ton of those evening cocktails!
Something in my mind finally changed and I feel 1000% committed to building my best body. I have no doubt that this time will be the last time…and I will never have to take another before photo. I’m doing this for me and no one else. There will be people that discourage me and tell me that I’m crazy. There will be non believers and family members who mock my green smoothies. There will be people who don’t like that I have muscles instead of a soft figure but you know what…I DON’T CARE! It’s my body – not theirs!
I realize this post has been about me finding a love of fitness…but this goes for anything. Keep working towards what you want and eventually you will find the right path to get there. It hasn’t been easy and I’m sure it will continue to challenge me – but I like that. I need that.
I hope to one day be able to educate young women about the importance of clean eating and a healthy lifestyle…hell, I hope to be able to educate any woman! I just want to inspire people and help them find and achieve their passions.
This is going to be one hell of a journey and I’m excited that y’all will be sharing it with me.
Here’s to health and chasing dreams.
Now…it’s leg day so I’m gonna jet!